Shame and Shyness

Shame is an emotion associated with feelings of inadequacy, exposure, or fear of others' judgment. 


It can arise in specific situations, such as when someone makes a mistake in public or becomes the target of ridicule. 


Description

In shame, I perceive a movement in the throat area that transmits tension to the face, producing an internal constriction at eye level, seemingly behind the glabella. 


From that point, heat emerges (which may result in blushing), along with an impulse to hide it using my hands or a nearby object, such as a pillow or a book.


This behavior can be disguised—sometimes, I might just scratch my forehead or nose, though the intention is the same. 


At times, I may express it with a nervous smile, a serious expression, or something close to sadness.  


Shyness is a personality trait or behavioral tendency characterized by social inhibition and discomfort in interactions with others. 


Shy individuals may feel anxious when talking to strangers, speaking in public, or starting conversations, but they do not necessarily experience shame. 


Description

In shyness, what I felt was different from shame—it was more like an anticipatory protective behavior against possible situations in which I might act inappropriately and be exposed to humiliation, ridicule, or judgment. 


Thus, a truly embarrassing situation was not required to trigger it; just the thought of its possibility was enough. 


I would already find myself in such situations with this mindset, trying to minimize my exposure as much as possible.  


In shyness, I felt tension in my shoulders (which caused them to lift), the back of my neck, and my hips (as if they were stiff and locked—making my movements somewhat awkward). 


When some situations became more distressing, emotions like shame and fear could arise, along with reactions such as sweating. 


Most of the time, I avoided speaking, and when I did, my voice was low and hesitant, and my thoughts did not come clearly to my mind.


Check here how I described the flow of sensations involved in emotions in general.


Check out these posts to understand the phenomenological approach used in providing these descriptions of experience: 1) What is Phenomenology; 2) Naturalization of Phenomenology; 3) Micro-Phenomenology; 4) Intersubjective Validation; 5) Embodied Cognition; 6) 4E

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